Quotes
Nathan: We are here to make coffee, metal! We will make everything metal, blacker than the blackest black… times infinity!
Nathan Explosion: Price check! Clean up, Aisle Six! Rotted body landsliiiiiiiide. And don’t forget our special sale on every bone broken chickennnnn! Hurry! Enjoy our tasty hammer smashed face! Uh, Aisle Three.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yeah, all of our chefs has died a horrible death. What of that do you think?
Chef Jean Pierre: I would rather have my brains scooped out with a melon baller than to miss the opportunity to deliver the various cheese snacks to my beloved Dethklok.
Two-Fingered Fan: In London, some dude chopped off my fingers and threw ‘em up on stage. Murderface rolled ‘em up and smoked ‘em! MURDERFACE!
One-Eyed Fan: My eye got tore out and force-fed to me at a show… DETHKLOK RULES!
“I’m a notary.” - William Murderface
“blacker than the blackest black… times infinity!” –Nathan
“I do cocaine!!!”
Dr. Roxso, the rock and roll clown “Seriously…lots of cocaine”
“Fish don’t gots no good metals to listens to”
Candy that tastes like chicken if chicken tasted like candy - Toki
“Well then proves it! Show me a miracles that religion exists.”
“Well um, you know, there’s the bible right there.”
“Well… maybe I’ll… re-evaluates my life, then.”
(Christian rock mosh pit rules)
“Candy: Tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candyâ€*
“I think I have diabetes, I gotta take a fuckin nap†- Toki
“I give myself a solid gold telephone!â€
- Toki
“Brags about eating lollipops, he works in lollipops factoryâ€
-Toki
“It used to be da red hots da blood but I ates demâ€
- Toki
Toki - “You’re not a great speller, you got to spell to be a speller!â€
Murderface - “So if a guy hits a homerun, but hes FAT, it’s not a homerun?! It has to be perfect? Whats the point?!â€
Toki - “No that is the point! That is spelling!â€
Skwisgaar - “I’m just sayings I can hear your guitars ringing out in my monitor, means yous are half assing itâ€
Toki - “How dare you! I’m selling it, you - I’m kicking ass you just stand there “aruhahaurha†just boring - I rock and everything!â€
Skwisgaar - “Yeah, well thats the expinse of sloppys playing, you see toki-†*tree blows up*
Toki - “Das weirdâ€
Murderface - “Is there olives in it?â€
Old Lady - “In what?â€
Murderface - “LEMON TART WRINKLE TITS jeez!â€
Sen. Stamptingston- “It appears Dethklok has summoned a troll.â€
Gen. Crozier- “That’s impossible…trolls don’t exist…â€
Sen.- “Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?â€
Gen. Crozier- “Dear god man, your face! What have they done to you?
Dick Knubbler- “It’s called metal, General.â€
“What i most can’t the least is do not a bad job and always a goodâ€
-Employee 421, Episode 12
I’ve recently been reunited with an old gentleman sitting on two duffelbags. I’m free downstairs - W.Murderface
I haves a’s definitions fors da word onzbozzle(embezzle). My lungs onzbozzle the air from the earth. - Swisgar
His name is Rockso, he’s the rock n’ roll clown, he does cocaine. I’m afraid that’s all we know. - Council General
Reeeliigion, reeelliigion, - W.Murderface
“What are those wood things? CHAIRS???â€
Murderface
“But it is metals to like clownsâ€
Toki
“Were better that Meatloafâ€
Murderface
“Imaage? iamage…..eeeeeeamaageâ€
Swisgar
“Really I would have my brains scooped out.”
“Seriously…lots of cocaine. Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca Yea!”
Pickles: It’s simple mathematics and pattern solving, look you remember Guts Punch Balls Throw Up when we’d go ‘Duckaduckadaduckduckaducka…’
Nathan: ‘…duckaducka…yeah
Toki: Oh Blood Puke. That’s a great song title, someone write that dow..oh that’s right. We already wrote that. Great song though.
Toki: Screw you’s all off, my codpiece is the coolest!
Nathan: Maybe your teeth are falling out because you eat all that candy.
Toki: So what? Teeth grow back!
Nathan: Heh, no they don’t
Toki: Are you a dentist?
Nathan: No…
Toki: Then shut up!
Dimmu Burger Manager: He’s completely stupid, can’t even function in the real world.
Nathan: Yeah, I’m stupid. Wait…I am?
Charles Foster Ofdensen: That’s my bread and butter you’re fucking with.
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dethklok rocks
I love Dethklok!
and he’s going to tell us how to makes the metals, when he dosn’t even know snakes from dildos about it. -Skwisgaar Skwigelf
OF COURSE! We have them put to sleep! - W.Murderface
You’re depressed?! I’M FAT!!! - W.Murderface
I had a very special principal in high school who let me sit and play the bass guitar, drink beer, and smoke pot all day becuase I told him I’d cut his eyes out if he didn’t let me graduate. - W. Murderface
MURDERFACE RULEZ
DETHKLOK RULEZ
Seriously…lots of cocaine. Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca Yea!
“What are those wood things? CHAIRS???”
Murderface
“But it is metals to like clowns”
Toki
“Were better that Meatloaf”
Murderface
“Imaage? iamage…..eeeeeeamaage”
Swisgar
I’ve recently been reunited with an old gentleman sitting on two duffelbags. I’m free downstairs - W.Murderface
I haves a’s definitions fors da word onzbozzle(embezzle). My lungs onzbozzle the air from the earth. - Swisgar
His name is Rockso, he’s the rock n’ roll clown, he does cocaine. I’m afraid that’s all we know. - Council General
Reeeliigion, reeelliigion, - W.Murderface
Dethklok RULEZ
“What i most can’t the least is do not a bad job and always a good”
-Employee 421, Episode 12
Gen. Crozier- “Dear god man, your face! What have they done to you?
Dick Knubbler- “It’s called metal, General.”
Episode 2
Sen. Stamptingston- “It appears Dethklok has summoned a troll.”
Gen. Crozier- “That’s impossible…trolls don’t exist…”
Sen.- “Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?”
Episode 4
Murderface - “Is there olives in it?”
Old Lady - “In what?”
Murderface - “LEMON TART WRINKLE TITS jeez!”
“Candy: Tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy”*
“I think I have diabetes, I gotta take a fuckin nap” - Toki
“I give myself a solid gold telephone!”
- Toki
“Brags about eating lollipops, he works in lollipops factory”
-Toki
“It used to be da red hots da blood but I ates dem”
- Toki
Toki - “You’re not a great speller, you got to spell to be a speller!”
Murderface - “So if a guy hits a homerun, but hes FAT, it’s not a homerun?! It has to be perfect? Whats the point?!”
Toki - “No that is the point! That is spelling!”
Skwisgaar - “I’m just sayings I can hear your guitars ringing out in my monitor, means yous are half assing it”
Toki - “How dare you! I’m selling it, you - I’m kicking ass you just stand there “aruhahaurha” just boring - I rock and everything!”
Skwisgaar - “Yeah, well thats the expinse of sloppys playing, you see toki-”
*tree blows up*
Toki - “Das weird”
Pickles - see drumming is just like math, the beats are timed to (some math term) and thats math. You remember “Briefcase Full of Guts”?
Nathan-yea
Pickles - It went rat tattatatdiddlittatataitititatatatadididitatatata
Nathan - right
See I want you all to remember one thing, you’re all gonna die someday. You, dead, you over there, dead, you you and you, dead. - Nathan
i wouldn’t mind dying a violent death if i got to see dethklok live. DETHKLOK IS THE BEST HEAVY METAL BAND EVER CREATED!!!
“I had a clown’s hand down my pants. That- that’s what I did today…”
“I had a clown’s hand down my pants. That- that’s what I did today…”
-William Murderface
Pickles: Name one thing that doesn’t have to do with guitar. Go go go go go
Skwigar: Ummmmm, errrrr.
Pickles: go go go go.
“This is my fault, I should be the one lying there, Still alive…with all those gifts!”
Nathan Explosion
MotherDuchebags he did it again
- Pickles
Were gonna re re re re re re record it RIGHT THERE!
- Nathen
Skwisgaar: Haha Tokis can’t read musics
Toki: Well neither can you
Skwisgaar: I have musics dixleks-kia…..I don’t want to talk about it
“If she were a street gang, I’d go to war with her with Bottles and chains”
-Nathan
Maybe he just have to gose to the B.A.S.T.H.R.O.H.M.N.S.E.
Wait a minute did we just get one phone line and five phones? - Pickles
What is accoustics? ohhh you mean grampas guitars? -Toki
Well if they cant stand the heat I don’t want him near your kitchen - Penelope’s Dad
I don’t even know what that means- Penelope
We just happen to make what we call in this business another Shit sandwich -Mr Grishneck
I wander how many blood drops of blood there are in this blood ocean, I wander how there is in a drop…I wander had well I well lets just say there are a million drops -Nathan Explosion
Hey Natin what the hell ain’t you gonna get painted by naked ladies with us? -Pickles
I have some bad news, I can’t go to the United States Pornography awards. I’m not allowed -Nathan Explosion
I was gonna break up with you back there, and now since you’re in a coma I really don’t have to. You’re like the ultimate girlfriend right now and I don’t, I don’t wannawanna loose that! -Nathan Explosion
“Lemme get this straight; you put thee little blue guys in boilin ot water & the shrink &nthey turn red; &they die?!”
“Yes, sir..”
“That is the most metal thing I ever heard in my whole life..”
“Welp, i’m startin to get a hungrys but it looks like we starves.” -Toki Wartooth
me too toki, me too.
I’d rather die than go to heaven - Muderface
“It’s a grocery store ya’ douchbags, sorry ’bout the douchbags, low blood-sugar.” -Pickles
“Those looks like a grandpa’s guitars!”
“I gots to say, this Snakes and Barrels…it’s nots my cup of tea.”-Toki
I love Toki, Underwater Friends > all!
“Oh skwissgaar dat’s what s you should be doing, makes a billions dollars on TV’s teaching guitar.” Toki Wartooth
“If’s I did it would haves to be the most brutals guitars things on tv special pay for view ever.” Skwissgaar.
“this is uh some designs I’m messing around with this one is the Swissarmitar, it’s uh, good guitar for camping trip, it’s got a tooth pick.”
“Uh, just an Antfarmitar… dat still workings on it” Skwissgaar
“Nice, I’d like to stand on that thing.” Murderface
“Yeah, and this is the gibson exalabitar.. you know.” Skwissgaar
“what’s offensive about the most religious instrument ever?” Skwissgaar
“okay lets me explains again in prafectly clean anglish. I wants flies in on a dragins okay? How many times I got to tell dis peoples?!”
“I know there isn’t a dragon.”
“I know dat’s what I’m telling you.”
“But that’s what I’m telling you.”
“So go get one. What are you doing here, go go get one,now go go.”
“they don’t have them.”
“are you telling me they are out of dragins?”
“They never had dragons.”
“who didn’t?”
“The world.”
“Get this guy out of here finds me a dragins!”
Skwissgar to the pay for view event guy.
“You’re free run away skwissgaar!” Toki Wartooth
“I guess I’ve always hated my father. Explosion sauce changed that. Explosion sauce, it’s good on it’s own.” - Nathan Explosion
“You bastard, why you makes me do dis?” Toki Wartooth
“I could possibly break up with her. But dear god man you don’t know what she’s like. What if she won’t let me?!” - Nathan Explosion
“Just let me record it, each take is getting worse. He is slowly learning how to unplay the guitar.”
“I can hears dat, the talk back mic is on.”
“Pickle please let me know when the talk back mic is on so Mr.Sensitives don’ts goes to cries babies house for vacation.”
“I can stills here you!”
“So what you want?! A be able to hear tings award?!”
“Eh, nots really, doesn’t sound like a great awards to be honest.”
Skwissgaar to Toki.
“This idea is dildoes.” Skwissgaar
“Honestly I don’ts wants no creative voice, it’s cool.” Toki Wartooth
“Yeah but checks dis out! I can force all the bloods to my face and gives myself a real cool blowjob!” Toki Wartooth
And I think I’m done for now.
“…the bad news is, I forgot to press the record button. The good news is…I’m sorry.”
-Pickles the Drummer to Nathan Explosion on “Dethkids”
Ofdenson rocks my socks off. He’d been one of my favortie characters for a few episodes before the finale, but that bread and butter thing just fucking sealed it.
I knew the lawyer kicked ass the whole time
I mean seriously, would the most brutal band in the world employee a pussy lawyer??
Nathan Explosion: We got you a gift … NOOOTHIIIING!
Murderface: Aw you guys suck!
Nathan Explosion: What!?!? we got you your favorite thing… disappointment.
fuckin dethklok rocks
Nathan Explosion- (to the band) I want a hundred beers.
(to the barkeep) I want a hundred beers. exactly 100.
“Toki look inside of your basket. Guess what you’res in such a crappy mood, you have lady’s tampons… inside of it… and you buy them for yourself. Go have a conversation with all the ladies and tell them your problems.”
Toki: You’s a lady Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar: NO I NOT!!!
Toki rules!
Thats a dildo………Strap-on dildo-W.Murderface
1,000,000,000 miles from nowhere, the dragonlands burns hot, by the fire of a horses ghost a minow would be lost…….tits, a fish, a fish with tits, titty fish-W. Murderface
Most brutal quotes ever.
“I’d rather chop off my ding dong than admit that.”
- William Murderface
“You know what yous are’s? You are a g-milf. That is a grandmothers that I would likes to..”
- Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Screws you all off, my codpiece is the coolest!
“Which one of you punks took my banana?!”
- Dr. Rockzo
“comedy’s not about being funny, it’s all about expressing your hate”
-Lokey The Sailor
“I believe we summoned a troll, I don’t know why we never thought of that before.”
“Wait, night time minutes start at 11:00? Now that’s brutal!”
- Pickles (i think, correct me if i’m wrong.)
i meant to say “I can’t believe…..” on the second one.
and it was Nathan that said the last one.
“Look! I mades you a macaroni murder-lady!”
-Toki
“Awwww f–k!! This means we’ll have to get him a gift!”
-Nathan
HA! Dude! Toki can’ts reads music! It’s a laugh!
-Skwisgaar
here’s a lot of good ones nobody bothered to remeber
“It’s repugnant. I’d rather be dead and faceless than grow old and. . . repugnant like that.”
-Murderface
Suggest all you want it won’t make your weeny any bigger you dildo licker!
-Murderface
They were black like a black person’s feet. Not that I have anything against black people, but this was frost bite, and besides, black peoples feet are pink on the bottom.”
-Rose Explosion (nathan’s mom)
“I’d rather DIE than go to heaven!”
-Murderface
“Does this room have ZAZZ in it”?
-Pickles
If we fire this Twinkletitts guy we ain’t gonna see any of them bannanna stickers anymore.”
-Pickles
“I think it’s OK if we hate eacthother, that’s OK with me. But we can’t let this happen again, it costs too much.
-Nathan
“It hurts me face. Boy, I really hates it.”
-Toki
“HA! Look at this one…asleeps in some blood.”
-Skwisgaar
WHAT IN THE FUCKING NAMES OF ODIN
Dude where are we? What we just flies in?
What the hell was wrong with your guitar sounds tonight?
What’s that supposed to mean it sounded great.
No sounds dildos agains.
Shes nots good enoughs for him i hates her but yet i would totally dos her.
Im just saying i can hear your guitars ringing out in my monitors yous are half-assing it.
How dare you im selling it im kicking ass and you’re just setting there uaahuhauahaua
yeah well thats the expense of sloppys playing you see toki-tree explodes-
das weird
-toki and skwisgaar get knocked down-
i will see you in vallhaska
i always hated you skwisgaar
i knows toki i knows
-offdenson fires gun-
thats my bread and butter your fucking with
Cardinal Ravenwood: The Metalocalypse has begun
Dont you remember signing the deal
no…were we drunk
yes…yes you were
this is heavy…it hurts my face…boy i really hates it
well it was your idea you might’ve been drunk but you mad a very convincing point.
Hey you know we get really really excited about really bad ideas when we’re drunk and its your job to talk us out of it
oh I tried I tried very hard but you all threatened to kill me
so what those threats aren’t new
mmmm noted anyway your on the band plan and weekend murder minutes start at 11
wait nighttime minutes start at 11 oh god thats brutal
well they suck i approve
what is acoustic oh you mean a grandpas guitar
yeah thats is for pussys and grandpas i thinks you know that
I’ll will shovel all of your guys balls into a pit of scorched bodies
and watch all of you guys bake, haha the I will eat some chicken
FUCK YOU
Candy, it tastes like chicken if chicken was a candy. Toki Wartooth
Toki Wartooth. I can force all the bloods to my face an gives myself a real cool blowjob!
Toki-oh believe me, I’m holding back gallons of throwup as we speak…
Swissgaar-hey don’t do me any favors, throw up on yourself
-
Nathan-uhhh…I think I need another liver transplant
-
Ogdensen-sooo you think it might be a good idea to put that troll back to sleep?
Nathan-uhh I don’t see that happening…crappy troll knocked out the dsl and now it takes 2 minutes to get to tits
Ogdensen-ok…I didn’t want to say anything, but this is effecting your record sales…there…I said it
Pickles-oh thanks, what are you trying to do depress us? Well its working…now I need a new drink, not this one…a different one…in a different place
Murderface-yeah! A drink!
-outside pub
Nathan-looks like the troll knocked out the power everywhere
Swissgaar-well there’s only 2 things to do in a blackout…get drunk…1 thing to do
Nathan-god, I hate finland…I need a hundred beers
-
Swissgaar-i read about these things online, you can actually buys a star and name it…like muhammed ali, the black prize fighter? That would be his gift…
(Long Silence)
Swissgaar…fuck you
-
Toki-naked ladies! Wowee!
-
Toki-whooo, I am such one tired guy! Why go shopping? What’s the point now I have all this stuff what I dos?
Swissgaar-just throws it away that’s what I dos
Toki-yep
Swissgaar-just going to die anyways
Toki-now I throws it away
Swissgaar-goodbye…burn it
Toki-guess its full circle
-
Pickles-well you know it hurts…when people say things like that and you know, I’m gonna do something about it, in retaliation I’m going to drink more than I ever have in my life…
-
Nathan-TOKI HASENT SAID ONE WORD!
The fact that my parents had sex in order to create me makes me want to be BURIED ALIVE.
- Nathan Explosion
“I will Seeks yous in Valhalksa (Valhalla)” Swissgaar
Hey. Would you do me a big favor? Could you have a great day? Could you do that for me? - Murderface
—
Ofdenson: What are you doing on the phone? You’re supposed to be doing your jobs.
Murderface: Job? I play bass not to have a job.
Ofdenson: You’re supposed to be preparing for the concert. Nathan, you’re in charge here. How’s the rehersal coming?
Nathan: Hm…it’s uh…hmm…uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good.
Everyone forgot this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Wow-wee!-Toki
They gives us all the free coffee in the world, BUT NO INSTRUCTIONS ON HOWS TO COOK IT!-Swissgaar
Skwissgaar******
(sorryz)
Toki: Oh and by the way teeth grows back.
Nathan: Hehe, no they don’t.
Toki: Yes they do.Don’t you remember when you were a little kids when your teeth would fall out and get the old one of from under the pillow so the Great-Orthg the tooth collecter can get it and leave you a Pickles Nickel?
Nathan: Would you just get out of here?!
Toki: Fine! Good-byyyeeee.
Toki: *guitar falls* *whispers* I hate you…seriously.
Skwisgaar: *whispers* Okay.
Toki: No! He’s like a father-friend!
lol Dethklok rules!
Give him anything he wants
-to the rodie-
Put the boots to him, medium style.
Thats my Bread and Butter your F—ing with.
-Charles Foster Ofdensen
“I woke up with a clown’s hand in my pants. That’s what I did today.” - Murderface
Stella Murderface: “William, you’re going to go to heaven for this.”
William: “I’d rather die than go to heaven.”
DETHKLOK RULES!
how does i shot metal?
diddle-a-tack-a-tack-a-tick-a-tack - Nathan and Skwisgaar
nathan ” and remember booze aint food”
murderface “i rather cut off my own d!^% that admit that”
toki ” wowies ud rather cut of ur own dingdong than drink”
in whcih episode does Skwisgaar say “This ideas is balls.”?
it’s been bugging me like crazy.
oh my god, oh my god,oh my god by the way your fired, ahhhhh- nathan explosion
dethfashion
I want a banana sticker…-Murderface
“Put the boots to him… Medium style.” -Ofdensen
Dr. Rockso-”This one was banned from music television, cuz’ you could see my junk… Through my jumpsuit.”
Murderface-”I believe that is what is known as.. free-ballin.”
“Fishes gots no goods metals to listens to.”-Skwigaar
“We know that you’re sorry, we know that. But.. I guess we kinda hoped that you’d use better judgement.”-Nathan[talking to Fatty]
“What do you do for a living, sell shoes? Ca ca yeah!”-Dr. Rockso
Pickles- dont be a dick, be a dude.
Murderface- Even though we are venturing into the world of fashion, i assure you all…i am not gay.
Dr.Rockso is partyin right now babbyy!
Murderface- mhmmm…tits..a fish..a fish with tits…titty fish
Pickles- and Kool-Aid of, ya know, the grape persuasion.
Nathan- THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT!
Pickles- oh look, firecrackers, lets steal them.
Dr. Rockso- oh im a bad clown..im a bad bad clown! i do cocaine.
Skwisgaar- Everyone on this page says that we gots to cut out them carcobydrates.
Toki- yeah. no mores of them carcogybrates
Nathan- what are carcomymytes?
Skwisgaar- oh, ya knows, likes uh, pasketi
toki- uh breads!
Skwisgaar- paper towels…
Toki- oh Kleenex and napkins!
Pickles- oh yhea thats easy, no more of that stuff.
Nathan- Skwisgaar Swkisgaar, eating a popsicle is like drinking a glass of water, what are we supposed to do, not drink water?
Skwisgaar- alright alright, popscockles we can have
Toki- alrightttt!! popsickles!
Skwisgaar- oh yeha, my pecks needed a little gurths, whateverss…
Fashion Guy- im dissipointed in all of you, your a bunch of liers.
Toki- Evens Toki?? ;(
Skwisgaar- i would eats a hotdog…just puttin that outs there….
Murderface- i do agree these clothes are un-fucking-confortable
Toki- oh mines fits!
Murderface- oh shut op Toki!
Pickles- man, you think about penisis and mouthes all the time dont you?
Murderface- shut up shut UP!!
Pickles- well ya do!!
Murderface- UGHH. Oh, give me my wipes!
Pickles - Hey is this stuff good for soup?
Stock boy - Nooo
Pickles - AAAHHH thats a yes.
Murderface - Are there olives in it?
Old lady - In what?
Murderface - In lemon tart wrinkle tits.
Pickles-Wooooaaahh, let’s put this all in perspective here, okay Nathan.
“I have to live ..im pregnant with baby parasites..they are counting on me…”
murderface
Im Dr.Rockzo and i USED to do coacine, im cacacacaclean!!!
dr.rockzo
“Thats my Bread and Butter your F—ing with.” in which episode does he say that…?
“Stops COPYS ME, STOPS COPYS ME!”
“Dude we’re getting YOPO! if we’re gonna DIE, we’re gonna die HIGH!”
Murderface: “Quick answer, F–K YOU!”
“Just tell me what animal I would turn in to and I’ll leave you alone but it better be REALLY COOL!”
my favourite quote is from mordland and u dont have it there. it goes something like this:
toki: watch this you guys, i can gets all the blood to my face and give myself a really cool blow job.
yeah, thats what i’m talking about!
skisgaar: tch, he means nose bleed, not blow job. idiot.
ooh ooh ooh and the one where skwisgaars tlkn to the GMILF lol and when skwisgaar goes to fatty: dont choke you fat tub of shit… we love you! lol
and my mistake that last comment i wrote it said it was on mordland but its really on fat kid at the detharmonic woopsi doodle
I Love Dethklok!! I went to one of their concerts in ATL Ga. It was one of the best shows ever!
Dr. Rockzo. He’s the shit.
“THE MARRIIAANNNA TREEEEEENNCCHH!” -NATHAN EXPLOSION
“Pickles the drummer doodily doo, ding dong doodily doodily doo”
the only reason im alive is for dethklok. i would die for them. i killed my dog because murderface told me to ina dream. I LOVE DETHKOLK!!!!!! dethkolk is unbelievably amazing. i worship them. nathan is the new jesus. die for dethklok. i beat the shit out of my sister because she said metalocalypse sucked. nobody says that in my presence and gets away with it.
i love dethklok. i love dethklok. I LOVE DETHKLOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you think im joking, fuck you dckweeds.
“We’ve called in an expert…Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich.
She runs a Dethklok think-tank in Washington, D.C., and specializes in Nathan Explosion studies. ”
AND BEST PART EVER:
OFDENSEN: Nathan, I have your test results.
NATHAN: oh, you open it i cant take the pressure
OFDENSEN: Let’s see here.OK. It’s a, uh… Zero.
NATHAN: Oh, damn!Seriously?!
OFDENSEN:Have can you have not known that?
NATHAN: Do you think you’re better than me?
AND THE BEST SPEECH EVER:
Harvard, solutuions.
Solutions to you.
“its pronounced Salutations.”
I don’t need this stupid speach! You think you’re smart, huh?
That you can come up here
and take a piece of this, huh?
Any of you.
You? You?
Listen, Harvard,
I’m a billionaire.
And most of you are gonna graduate
and move back in with your parents.
I’m gonna tell you
something though:
we have something in common.
We’re all gonna die.
No matter what you do,
no matter what you do with your lives…
you’re dead.
You’re dead. You die.
You’re gonna die,
all of you. Dead.
You, dead.
You, dead. All of you.
You, lady…
your tits will be eaten by maggots
in just a few short years.
So, here’s my message,
my message to you.
Very simple message: go forth.
Go forth and die.
DETHKLOK KICKS ASS.
Has everyone one forgot………..
“How about i go kill myself, would that be brutal enough for you?”
-William Murderface
“i wished they made insulin flavored candy.”
-toki
“why don’t yous go play your records backwards and kill yourselfs”
-skwisgaar (i think)
i’ve got tons that crack me up but here are some more:
murderface: hey douchebag, why don’t you drill a hole in your forehead and let all the sap run out.
skwisgaar: haha, for panscakes.
murderface: can you pass the prozac shaker?
devil: i understand you wish to bargin your souls for blues fame.
murderface: yeah uh, hey uh, fancy pants…we’re DETHKLOK. we’re kinda famous already.
nathan: we release you from your early duties…
ah doodily….i don’t know.
toki: yeah, we’s good bosses. it’s like a plantation but the slaves are our friends.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaapppppppppp
“BY THE POWER OF ALL THAT IS EVIL I COMMAND YOU TO AWAKEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!”
-Pickles