Quotes

Nathan: We are here to make coffee, metal! We will make everything metal, blacker than the blackest black… times infinity!

Nathan Explosion: Price check! Clean up, Aisle Six! Rotted body landsliiiiiiiide. And don’t forget our special sale on every bone broken chickennnnn! Hurry! Enjoy our tasty hammer smashed face! Uh, Aisle Three.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yeah, all of our chefs has died a horrible death. What of that do you think?

Chef Jean Pierre: I would rather have my brains scooped out with a melon baller than to miss the opportunity to deliver the various cheese snacks to my beloved Dethklok.

Two-Fingered Fan: In London, some dude chopped off my fingers and threw ‘em up on stage. Murderface rolled ‘em up and smoked ‘em! MURDERFACE!

One-Eyed Fan: My eye got tore out and force-fed to me at a show… DETHKLOK RULES!

“I’m a notary.” – William Murderface

“blacker than the blackest black… times infinity!” –Nathan

“I do cocaine!!!”
Dr. Roxso, the rock and roll clown “Seriously…lots of cocaine”

“Fish don’t gots no good metals to listens to”

Candy that tastes like chicken if chicken tasted like candy – Toki

“Well then proves it! Show me a miracles that religion exists.”
“Well um, you know, there’s the bible right there.”
“Well… maybe I’ll… re-evaluates my life, then.”
(Christian rock mosh pit rules)

“Candy: Tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy”*

“I think I have diabetes, I gotta take a fuckin nap” – Toki

“I give myself a solid gold telephone!”
- Toki

“Brags about eating lollipops, he works in lollipops factory”
-Toki

“It used to be da red hots da blood but I ates dem”
- Toki

Toki – “You’re not a great speller, you got to spell to be a speller!”

Murderface – “So if a guy hits a homerun, but hes FAT, it’s not a homerun?! It has to be perfect? Whats the point?!”

Toki – “No that is the point! That is spelling!”

Skwisgaar – “I’m just sayings I can hear your guitars ringing out in my monitor, means yous are half assing it”

Toki – “How dare you! I’m selling it, you – I’m kicking ass you just stand there “aruhahaurha” just boring – I rock and everything!”

Skwisgaar – “Yeah, well thats the expinse of sloppys playing, you see toki-” *tree blows up*

Toki – “Das weird”

Murderface – “Is there olives in it?”
Old Lady – “In what?”
Murderface – “LEMON TART WRINKLE TITS jeez!”

Sen. Stamptingston- “It appears Dethklok has summoned a troll.”
Gen. Crozier- “That’s impossible…trolls don’t exist…”
Sen.- “Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?”

Gen. Crozier- “Dear god man, your face! What have they done to you?
Dick Knubbler- “It’s called metal, General.”

“What i most can’t the least is do not a bad job and always a good”
-Employee 421, Episode 12

I’ve recently been reunited with an old gentleman sitting on two duffelbags. I’m free downstairs – W.Murderface

I haves a’s definitions fors da word onzbozzle(embezzle). My lungs onzbozzle the air from the earth. – Swisgar

His name is Rockso, he’s the rock n’ roll clown, he does cocaine. I’m afraid that’s all we know. – Council General

Reeeliigion, reeelliigion, – W.Murderface

“What are those wood things? CHAIRS???”
Murderface

“But it is metals to like clowns”
Toki

“Were better that Meatloaf”
Murderface

“Imaage? iamage…..eeeeeeamaage”
Swisgar

“Really I would have my brains scooped out.”

“Seriously…lots of cocaine. Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca Yea!”

Pickles: It’s simple mathematics and pattern solving, look you remember Guts Punch Balls Throw Up when we’d go ‘Duckaduckadaduckduckaducka…’
Nathan: ‘…duckaducka…yeah

Toki: Oh Blood Puke. That’s a great song title, someone write that dow..oh that’s right. We already wrote that. Great song though.

Toki: Screw you’s all off, my codpiece is the coolest!

Nathan: Maybe your teeth are falling out because you eat all that candy.
Toki: So what? Teeth grow back!
Nathan: Heh, no they don’t
Toki: Are you a dentist?
Nathan: No…
Toki: Then shut up!

Dimmu Burger Manager: He’s completely stupid, can’t even function in the real world.
Nathan: Yeah, I’m stupid. Wait…I am?

Charles Foster Ofdensen: That’s my bread and butter you’re fucking with.